General relativity and bacon

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As posted by AC on slashdot:
Let me try to find a lay-person analogy.

A chef theorized that there was a counter-part to bacon. We'll call it turkey bacon.
We traditionally thought that Turkey Bacon was the direct opposite of Pig Bacon. Where
Pig Bacon was delicious, Turkey Bacon was healthy. We decided to do some research on
how Turkey bacon and pig bacon is received by the consumer. Recent taste test show that
turkey bacon is not, in fact equally as healthy as pig bacon is tasty. This ruins the
grand unified theorem of HTB (healthy tasty breakfast).

The only remaining explanation is there might, in fact, be a third type of bacon...
i.e. a cow bacon or chicken bacon. If we discover this new type of bacon, it might
completely revolutionize the Bacon Lettuce Tomato sandwich.